Grieving Your Loved One
Grief is different for everyone. There are no hard and fast rules; there are no "do's" and "don'ts" that apply across the board. The one thing that is always important is to allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels best for you. YOU are the only one who knows what that way is.
Please note that Jenni is NOT a grief counselor or licensed therapist, though as an ordained minister and priestess, she does have experience helping those in grief from a spiritual capacity. Her additional experience in speaking with those who have left their bodies gives her an advantage of understanding much that many people living on our Earth may not understand. If you feel that you are in crisis, please be advised to locate a licensed therapist or grief counselor. Jenni does not take the place of psychological help, nor does she ever recommend discontinuing therapy or medication, or anything else that your doctor has recommended.
"Keep busy, it will help" or "Watch comedies, that helped me"...
Your friends, however well intentioned, may offer words of advice as to what has helped them in their times of grief. It is wonderful when someone who cares about you wants to help, because just knowing that someone cares can sometimes take the edge off of the pain. But many people don't understand just how personal grief is; how different it is for each person and each circumstance. No one can know what will help YOU, because s/he isn't you.
For some, keeping busy does help. For others, it only makes it worse and resentment kicks in. Some people may choose to return to work and throw themselves into a project almost immediately, and might be criticized for it. Do not feel guilty for doing what is right for you. If it feels good and helpful to immerse yourself in something - whether work, or some other sort of busy-ness, go for it. Often after losing a loved one, many people feel guilty about doing something like this - "If I go back to work now, it will look like I didn't care!" This couldn't be further from the truth. For some people, this is exactly what they need to be able to grieve at their own pace. If it's what you need, that makes it more than okay.
For others, keeping busy is the last thing they can handle. Perhaps you need to take a month off of work, and spend your days crying and watching home movies over and over. Don't let anyone convince you that you are being "selfish" or "over indulgent." If this is what you need, this is what you should do. Sleep a lot, eat chocolate, whatever feels good, do it. Just please make sure that if you feel yourself slipping into depression that you seek out a therapist to help you through it.
"I feel like I'm betraying him. I haven't even cried!"
I hear this a great deal. To cry or not to cry? Also highly personal. There is no right or wrong answer. Sometimes, many people are in too much shock to cry right away, and it might take days, weeks, or even months to really cry and let it all out. Others cry right away and can't stop for weeks or months. It's all about YOU. This is what is so important to realize and remember. The person who passed, he or she is no longer in a body and is not judging you. Anyone who IS judging you either doesn't understand or isn't really your friend. Grief is not about the deceased, it's about the living. Those left behind. YOU. And you have to do what you feel is right for yourself.
If it has been a month or longer since your loved one passed, and you either haven't cried yet or have not stopped crying yet, I do urge you to seek counseling. That doesn't mean that what you're doing is wrong at all, but it could mean that you are avoiding grieving or becoming severely depressed, and there is also nothing wrong with getting psychological help to supplement any spiritual assistance you're seeking. There is no shame in asking for help, and there is never such a thing as too much help.
Can channeling my loved one help?
I can't answer that with any certainty. For many people, it does help a great deal. For some others, it just seems odd. If you are reading this on behalf of someone else you care about who has lost a loved one, please be cautious and respect that person may have different spiritual beliefs than you or I.
I have been told that my channelings have helped many people. I also know that it's been very helpful for me when I was able to communicate with my own loved ones who have passed. Many people feel a great sense of guilt after losing a loved one - this is a natural part of the grief process, but knowing that doesn't make it feel any less real. We wish we'd done something different, said something different, spent more time with them, told them we loved them, etc. The list goes on and on. Your loved one CAN hear you, so please know this when you are grieving, and talk to him or her whenever you feel like it (though it might be best done in private). Chances are, though, that you won't hear a response... but that doesn't mean s/he isn't trying!
"Why hasn't he/she tried to contact me or given me a sign?"
I hear this question from nearly everyone who has lost a loved one. The answer is almost always that he or she HAS spoken to you, usually repeatedly. It is our failings, not theirs. They are not abandoning us; they are not ignoring our pain. They are usually right there with us, trying so hard to tell us that they love us, and that they are okay. It is us who cannot hear them.
Many people are not familiar with energetic vibrations. We are all comprised of energy, and that energy is vibrating at a certain rate. My rate and your rate may not be the same. Someone who has passed out of their body is usually vibrating at a very high rate, while someone in mourning is usually vibrating at a much lower rate. It's a lot like trying to listen to the talk radio station when the dial is turned to the local rock station. You have to be on the talk radio's frequency to hear it.
The same is true for hearing someone who has passed from the body. If s/he is vibrating at a high frequency while you are at a much lower one, it's out of your reach. It's possible that once you've gotten through the grieving stages and have done a great deal of healing from your loss, that you will be able to hear him or her. Some people never reach the state of being able to do this, though we all have the inherent capability to do so.
That's where my channeling comes in. I'm objective, I didn't know your loved one, so I can usually tune in to his or her frequency and listen. I also have a gift of being able to do this, and having an awareness of spirits since early childhood (see my bio). This may help you to have closure, to not only tell this person how much you love and miss them, how you feel about particular issues, etc., but in most cases you'll get a response that I can hear and translate back to you.
Where do I go from here?
In addition to her channeling work, Jenni practices a wide variety of other alternative healing modalities. While of course nothing can remove your grief, there are methods that she uses that can help you to move through it more effectively and efficiently. For grief issues, Jenni usually recommends a combination of Reiki and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). The combination of these modalities assists you, the client, in getting in touch with the negative emotions you are experiencing and then releasing them from your energy field. It's not usually an immediate fix, but most clients report feeling significantly better after just one or two sessions, and a great deal of lifting of the "stuck" feeling we often experience during grief after 3-4 sessions. Some clients move more rapidly through the healing while others move through more slowly; this is just a part of the individuality of grieving.
"Thank you so much for that communication, Jenni! We can't even begin to express how comforting it was, especially since my (we) were blaming ourselves."
"It's been an incredible joy and comfort to read his words and there's nothing we love more than seeing another conversation"
"Thank you so much for your time and effort...____'s personality has come through loud and clear...some of the phrases you have shared are "spot on".....that brings us, me, so much comfort"
"Thank you so much! I know I keep saying this, but this information has been incredibly comforting and validating for us. We could really feel ____'s personality in these exchanges and have really enjoyed reading them."
"Words cannot express my gratitude for the wonderful gift you have given us. So much of what you wrote is in fact ____, his personality came through loud and clear. I was finally able to sleep last night after (reading) your email"